Being a mom…

Generally, I have found that composing at the keyboard leads to not saying exactly what I want…either forgetting something I wanted to say or not expressing myself as I hoped. But, despite this, this post is being composed at the keyboard.

My son and his wife recently had their first child, a little boy. I have to say, based on my limited observations, they are great parents. From the get-go, they seemed so comfortable in their new roles of mom and dad. Much better than I felt about my early parenting skills as I always felt that I was barely surviving (picture a duck placidly swimming on the lake and the frantic feet paddling below), trying to be a good mom, hoping to be a good enough mom.

They seem so comfortable taking out their son out on adventures already while I rarely took them out unless it was absolutely essential. I don’t think either one of my sons went to the grocery store with me until they could sit up in the cart (like at age six months) as an example.

My goal was to rear happy, healthy, productive adults. Moreover, I further wanted my sons to be polite and have manners. Over the years, I realized that I could do my best to have healthy kids (taking them to the doctors, dentist, and providing good nutrition) but ultimately, I couldn’t make them happy, or at least ensure their happiness. That was really only something they could bring about for themselves. While my sons are very different, they seem to have found their own brand of happiness, and I applaud their choices.

I guess the whole point of this is to say: I love my kids, I am proud of them  and what they are doing and have accomplished, and will accomplish in the future. And maybe, just maybe, I had something to do with how they turned out–that I was a good enough mother.

Did I accomplish what I planned to with this post? Say what I wanted to say? Probably not, but it’s good enough.